Lovers' Musings
by softcorepessimist
Summary: Various stories set from different points of views from mainly Carlisle, Jasper, and Emmett about the love they have for Bella. Mainly a collection of one shots.
1. Carlisle's Musing

What is love?

I'd been looking for the answer to that question for centuries. Many things have changed in my time but love is not one of them, yet the answer still evades me even though I've had years to study its unchanging nature. At first I thought love could be achieved solely though the lord but it still wasn't quite as obtainable as I wanted. Then after I was changed and became one of the damned my relationship with religion became almost completely nonexistent. Then I thought love is in friendship and although I enjoyed many of my companions through the ages the bond we felt was not nearly as strong as the bond I saw them make with their wives and husbands. Cursed to forever be alone, or so I thought, I found Esme and changed her in my selfish loneliness then I though this... this must be love. But as we stayed together and even made a makeshift family together I knew that what we shared was mutual want of something we both didn't have. Seeing my "children" and their mates made me even more aware to the fact that I hadn't felt love but then one day that all changed.

When Edward first brought home his human girl, I thought what he felt towards her was just a passing affection and I sympathized with him. I too had looked to fill my lonely nights with a human woman whose blood called to me which left me with Esme. As time went on and I saw all the things he saw in the human girl and I finally felt some of the long gone warmth in my heart. Whether or not what he felt for her was just affection did not matter to me. I'd spent too many years yearning for what Bella gave me and thanks to her I can finally answer the age old question.

Love is the way she walks into a room. Love is the curl in her hair and the blush in her cheeks. Love is the way she bites her lip while reading her favorite part of a book. Love is her lips on mine. Love is her smiling when she realizes that I'm staring at her again. Love is the little gasp she lets out when prick her wrist and taste a drop of her blood. Love is the feeling of her body heat radiating into my frigid body, Love is her. Love is Bella.


	2. Jasper's Musing

I'd spent years in war, both in my human life and my current one. I've killed countless men and women, I've felt the pierce of bullets and of fangs, but nothing is quite as painful as loving her. Ever since I almost attacked her on the day of her birthday party, she's made a point of visitin' me and makin' sure I know that she doesn't hold any ill will towards me.

"You're just as much a part of my family as any one else in this house." She says as she sat on my bed flippin' the pages to one of the books she picked up from my bookcase. A little piece of her stomach lay exposed and her bra-strap fell just far enough down her shoulder so that I could see it. She was reading Uncle Tom's Cabin, one of my favorites, and every now and then she'd ask me about something in the book. "Jasper," she says "why did you all treat black people so horribly?"

"I don't know." Truthfully I wondered this myself. Ever since I became a vampire I rejected the idea that all men weren't created equal afterall everyone's blood tasted just the same to me. I fought as a Confederate soldier and basically died for the cause, but people change, and I felt ashamed for my human beliefs.

"You don't still feel that way... do you Jasper?" She asked quietly.

I shot up from the floor where I was previously layin' and lookin' up at the ceiling. I got close to her face and looked her deep in the eyes, "Of course not. I was stupid back then Darlin' and if I could take it all back I would." I put as much of my Southern drawl in that statement as I could, I know she likes when I do that.

She studies my face for a little bit, scrunchin' up her brow and looking deep enough in my eyes to see my soul. After some time I guess she saw what she was looking for because she relaxes her face and smiled. "Good." Was all she says. She stretches out on my bed and exposes even more of her stomach. Her hair cascades onto my bed and her scent saturates my covers. She puts the book on my nightstand and closes her eyes. She was staring up at the ceiling now and patted the space next to her on the bed. I obliged her gesture and laid down next to her.

"What's it like being immortal? Having all the time you want on your hands?"

I thought carefully about what I was plannin' on sayin'. "Well I guess it depends. I've experienced both heaven and hell in this life but I suppose I've had more good than bad times. I've had the chance to learn dozens of languages and meet people that I would've never met without immortality. I've traveled the world and done things that I probably wouldn't have finished in five normal lifetimes. But sometimes I'd trade all that in for just a good night's sleep." She laughs when I say this.

"I'd gladly trade you all the sleep I get for a chance to do even a fifth of what you've done." We both chuckle at this and it gets pretty quiet before she speaks again. "I'm happy we get to hang out like this Jasper." I take great care to control my projection as my body flooded with happiness and hope. Maybe she feels the same way about me as I do about her.

I turn on my side to look at her. Her eyes are looking up at the ceiling but they were distant as if she wasn't in the room with me anymore. "I'm happy we get to do this too." I answered back cheesin' like a damn fool.

She turned to me now and looked me in the eye again. "Do you... do you think maybe if... if we'd met earlier or-" Before she could even finish her sentence Edward barged in my room and in an instant picked her up into his arms.

"Sorry Jasper, you've had your time with her. It's my turn now." He smiled suggestively with that last sentence and I had to fight down a snarl I felt coming into my throat. Bella eyes seemed to snap back in focus and she was no longer in the place she previously was. Her mind knew exactly where she was and all other possibilities were shut out. She giggled as Edward ran her into his room and shut the door and all I was left with was her scent on my blankets and her face on my mind.


	3. Emmett's Musing

This whole thing started when Bella came by to the house too early and everyone else had gone hunting except for me of course.

There I was playing videogames on my Xbox when I smell a human nearby and hear someone knock on the front door. Imagine my surprise when I open the door and see my favorite human. "Belly!" I yelled before giving her one of my world famous bear hugs.

"Hey Emmett!" she wheezed out then I finally let go of her. "You gotta lighten up on those hugs I still need to breath."

"Whatever Belly, I know my hugs are your favorite thing about coming here, Or maybe your second favorite thing if I include what you and Eddy do upstairs in his room." I joked. She elbowed me in the ribs and probably ending up hurting herself worse than me, but I just loved getting a reaction out of that girl.

"So where is everybody?" She asked walking past me and looking around the living room.

"Uhh out hunting like they usually are right now."

"What! But Alice told me to get here by 7."

"I think she meant 7 p.m." I said. Her face immediately turned a scarlet red as she realized her mistake.

"Oh my god, of course she meant 7p.m. what was I thinking? I'll come back later then." She tried to walk past me again out the front door but I blocked her.

"Well you already came this far annndddd I don't have anyone else to play video games with me so why don't you just stay?" I suggested excitedly.

"Hmm I don't know..." She said cautiously .

"Oh come oonnnnn, I'm bored and if you leave I'll be by myself for the next twelve hours." She still didn't look sure. "Do you really trust me without supervision for that long?" This last sentence must've convinced her because she immediately flopped down on the sofa, picked up a controller, and asked what game we'd be playing. I flopped down next to her as fast as I could and told her we're playing Halo.

We played for a couple of hours and I had to admit she was pretty good. She beat me about as many times as I beat her which was much better than Edward or Jasper could do. After her gaining another one of her victories she jumped up and started boasting again.

"In your face! I win! I win! I win!" She stuck out her tongue at me.

"And I thought I was the childish one."

"You're just saying that because you lost, bad." She said as she started doing her little victory dance which, as much as I hated to admit it, was pretty damn cute. "You ready to play again?"

"No, I'm done." I said putting my controller down on the floor.

"Wow, what a sore loser." She teased. I gave her a little fake snarl and tackled her on the floor. Her hands were pinned above her head and she couldn't stop laughing even as I tried to have on my best serious face.

"Take that back." I growled.

"Never!" She declared. I put my fangs down to her neck and I felt her breathing stop for a second. I got her now, I thought, I put a little pressure on her neck with my teeth just so I could get her adrenaline pumping even more, but before I put enough force to prick her skin I withdrew just slightly and placed a kiss there instead. "Ewwwwwww!" She screamed still laughing. She released one of her hands from my grip and wiped away where I kissed her. "That's even worse than you biting me." She joked.

"Oh really?" I asked sarcastically. I lowered myself down to her neck again and kissed again and again leaving a trail up to her mouth but I stopped before I reached her lips.

"Oh very funny Emmett." Her giggling subsided some.

The sun must have just risen because a beam hit her face just right. It made her curls shine into different shades of brown and lit up her chocolate brown eyes into bits of amber and honey. I was reaching my limit.

"What if I'm not trying be funny?" I asked getting serious.

She let out a forced laugh. "Come on stop Em, stop joking."

I leaned in even closer to her face. "No you come one Bella. You seriously don't know how I feel about you?" Her smile completely faltered and I was trying to see if she understood the full meaning of my words.

"But Rosalie..."

"Rose knows how cute I think you are. Why else do you think she doesn't like you?" I started leaning in closer and closer to her face, and I could hear her heart beating faster. I stopped just an inch away from her face. Her breathing increased, her heart was fluttering, and her eyes were wide. She was scared, and I can't do that to her. I pulled back.

"Haha you thought I was being serious?" I said while trying to laugh it off. She looked confused for a second that smiled again. I thought that she must've been so relieved that I stopped but out of nowhere she lifted her head far enough up to place a kiss on my lips.

"If you're kidding, then I'm kidding too." She put her head back down on the ground and let out a small giggle. My mouth spread into the dumbest freaking smile, and I looked at the clock.

"Well then that means we have seven more hours to kid around." With these words I lowered my lips unto her and kissed her with all the passion I'd been building up since I first met her. I should've invited her over to play video games so much earlier.


End file.
